A Perfect Day? Really?
What would you do if you could have a day that you could honestly call “perfect”? Take a second, and imagine what that perfect day would be like. Have fun with it. You would get out of bed and then what?…or would you even get out of bed? If sleeping is your perfect day, you probably need more rest! Let’s assume you DO get out of bed – what next? What would you do? Who would you spend your day with? What would you like to happen? Be creative. C’mon, live a little! Perhaps you’d like to relax on a sunny beach while sipping margaritas or hike up to the top of a mountain.
What you’d like to have happen in your perfect day reveals more about your true nature. If you choose all leisure activities as a perfect day, it’s an indication you need more of those days in your life!
Then the Grinch says, “I don’t see how my perfect day can happen anytime soon!”
Before you jump back in bed and hide under the covers, ask yourself: What experience from your perfect day do you want more of in your life right now? Pick one thing from your imaginary perfect day, and do it! If you cannot replicate that exact activity, do something close to it. Here are two examples:
Perfect Day:
“I’m sitting on my favorite beach sipping a cool one while reading my favorite book!”
¡Ay, caramba! You cannot go to Cancun today.
Go out in the backyard, or even your favorite room, and get your favorite book and beverage. Indulge, even if for only ten minutes!
Perfect day:
“I’m hiking through the Himalayas about to join my best friend on the next mountain!”
You’re both working, plus you forgot your oxygen mask.
Find the hilliest spot in town, and hike it as many times as you like, no matter how bad the weather. After all, the Himalayan climate is brutal! Did you forget to call your best friend?
Each day, plan what you will bring into your day to make it more perfect. At the end of the day, write down what you did, and plan more perfection for tomorrow and beyond!
Not to get ahead of ourselves, but what if your second day could also be “perfect”? Would it be similar to your first perfect day? How about a perfect week? Hmm…a perfect month?
OK, Webb, you might just be getting too far into La La Land!!
If you chose a relaxing perfect day, how many days of vacation-type days would you want? You’ll likely get sick of sipping margaritas after a while, even if you’re Jimmy Buffet! If you’re that hiker, mountain hikers need a break too!
Here in Camarillo CA I mentioned the other day about it being a perfect day in that it was sunny and 72°. We get that a lot here, and Camarillo is known for having one of the most temperate climates in the world! We get day after day of sunshine and temps in the 70s. This year, we’ve had just about 200 of those sunny days in a row! Give or take a few days that were hot, we need RAIN! At what point does even a sunny day become less than “perfect”? Update: it rained today! Was that perfect? Some loved it and others complained about the mud and getting wet or driving in slick conditions. At least a lot of plants and trees were “happy”!
Do we really want a life of all leisure (or of all sunny days)? That sounds tempting but it’s reality check time. Over 100 years ago in 1919, psychoanalyst Sandor Ferenczi introduced the term “Sunday neurosis,” citing that patients exhibited more neurotic behavior on weekends! Since then, the continuing pattern of people experiencing more loneliness, depression, and anxiety on holidays and weekends indicates that humans are ill-equipped to be idle for long.
In the mid-twentieth century, it was predicted that future humans would have lots of leisure time. That got shot full of holes, didn’t it? Why? Despite new technology, we have more work nowadays because people like to be productive!
A perfect day of leisure? No problemo! But “perfect” days can be accomplished through meaningful work that we love to do. For example, retired people often engage in activities that are altruistic or for personal growth, even though they no longer work in the traditional sense. We need to have fun and productivity in our lives, which is precisely the point. When you are fulfilling your higher purposes, the difference between work and play is less apparent because…
Every day is a perfect day when you are fulfilling your higher purposes.
Here’s another spin on “perfection.” Observe nature. There’s a balance of day and night that averages out in equal numbers of light and dark hours. There is cold and warm weather relative to seasons and location, each with its own unique beauty. Nature teaches us the balance of activity and rest and of pleasantness and harshness. The universe is a dichotomy.
In addition, nothing physical stays the same. Stars are born, go through changes, blow up into a supernova, and wither away. The balance of opposites in a constantly changing universe is in itself perfection.
So it is with our lives. We were not placed on this planet to enjoy only pleasantries nor to endure only hardships. And we’re not here forever. That’s why every day is perfect for us in that we’re learning whatwe need to learn. In that way, we are “perfect in our imperfections.” Our colossal screw-ups help us learn and grow.
Try this. Find a nice, green lawn; maybe it’s your lawn (certainly not mine!). Get down on your knees, and look closely at each blade of grass. If your neighbors are staring, just act like a lawn expert. Notice how some blades are fully green, some may have a little brown, some are smooth, and others were munched on as some hungry creature’s lunch. The lawn is full of “imperfections,” yet the end result is beautiful when you look at the whole yard. If the yard starts looking unsightly, you water and fertilize it, hopefully before you take your lawn off the list of your town’s “parade of homes” tour. So, whether your days (or your lawn!) are “I Feel Pretty” or “I’m So Lonesome I Could Cry,” they are all perfect for growth.
Buttttt….howls the ego monster…
Are you saying I should LIKE it when I get a flat tire in the pouring rain, or when I get to checkout with a week’s worth of groceries to realize I’ve lost my wallet?
Of course not! Butttttt…!
Consider this angle. If you could have everything go your way 100% of time each and every day, would you really, REALLY want that? Would that really be perfect for you? An old Twilight Zone episode gives us a taste of that…
Mr. Valentine, a criminal, robs a pawnshop, kills two people, and is shot dead in a shootout with police. He wakes up in a luxurious apartment and is greeted by a pleasant man in a suit who essentially offers him everything he wants. The robber is skeptical at first, so he orders everything—money, gourmet food, wine, women, and fancy cars, and all are delivered promptly. The man soon realizes he is dead, but hey – he’s getting everything he wants!
He gambles and wins the jackpot every time. Everyone loves him and accommodates his every single wish. Soon, Mr. Valentine becomes bored out of his mind. He gets irritable and starts begging for some things to be out of his control! At the end of the show, he screams, “If I stay one more day, I’m going to go nuts! I don’t belong in heaven, see? I want to go to the other place!” The man in the suit replies, “Heaven, Mr. Valentine? Whatever gave you the idea that you were in heaven? This is the other place!”
You may supply your own evil laugh now…
We can’t grow if everything we want is given to us. When we leave the prison yard of having to have control, true freedom begins. Our greatest accomplishments often arise out of the world of uncertainty. There is power in knowing that “you never know.”
There was a farmer in a village with a horse he treasured. One day, the horse ran away, and the farmer’s neighbor came to his house to offer his condolences. “You never know,” the farmer replied.
The very next day, the horse came back, leading a beautiful wild mare alongside him. The neighbor saw them and exclaimed, “That’s wonderful! What a stroke of good luck!” The farmer replied, “You never know.”
A few days later, the farmer’s son was trying to break the wild horse in, was thrown to the ground, and broke his leg. Of course, the neighbor came over to say how sorry he was that things had gone badly. The farmer replied, “You never know.”
A short time later, a war began, and the army came through the village in search of young men to fight, but since the farmer’s son’s leg was broken, he was allowed to stay at home. “You are a fortunate man!” the neighbor said when he heard the news. You already know what the farmer replied!
-RAM DASS
Let go of your resistance to what you can’t change. While you’re the “pilot of your plane,” other circumstances may determine when and where you fly! Your true power lies in how you handle the great times you experience, and also how you deal with uncertainty and adversity that you will experience, and believe me, we all will get our share!
By all means do what you can to make your day(s) closer to what you consider “perfect”.
I’ve realized that by asking - when does the perfect day arrive? I’ve discovered - it is already here – each and every day!
This blog contains excerpts from my book Well I’ll Be a Blue-Nosed Gopher…Practicing Happiness Now!
All images are by Sarah Bausinger.
Until Next Time! Cheers!
John
